I vs. Me
You don’t need to learn how to diagram a sentence to be able to learn the rules of grammar and punctuation. Let me help you use pronouns correctly without any unnecessary jargon.
First, let’s define a pronoun: a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. We can divide pronouns into three categories:
Subject Pronouns
I, you, he, she, it, we, theyObject Pronouns
me, you, him, her, it, us, themPossessive Pronouns
mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours, theirs
The following rule not only makes sense but is simple.
Rule: Use one of the Subject Pronouns when it is the subject of the sentence.
Example: I hit the ball.
Who hit the ball? I did. So “I” is the subject.
Usually, these subject pronouns sound right to most of us.
Example: He and I will meet at the gym.
Who will meet at the gym? He will meet at the gym. I will meet at the gym. So “he” and “I” are both the subjects.
Sometimes we want to say, “Him and me will . . .” or “Him and I will . . . .” You can remember the correct pronouns by saying each pronoun alone in the sentence. It probably won’t sound right to you to say, “Him will . . .” or “Me will . . . .”
Now, this next rule is difficult because it doesn’t sound right to most of us.
Rule: Use a Subject Pronoun following state of being verbs such as am, are, is, was, were.
Example: It is she.
Example: It was we who won the election.
Because we don’t speak this way, we can’t use our ear to help us with this rule. This is a good time to discuss the difference between spoken language and written language, particularly when it comes to tests and formal papers. We speak informally but must write more formally. Frankly, if I knock on someone’s door and am asked, “Who is it?” I am not going to say, “It is I” for fear that the person on the other side of the door will think I’m weird and never open up. However, if I am taking an exam or writing a report, I will try to spot these state of being verbs and check my pronoun usage.
The next rule does sound right to most of us.
Rule: Use one of the Object Pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state of being verb.
Example: Nancy gave the gift to her.
Example: Please give it to him or me.
(Remember, leave out one of the pronouns and you will be able to hear the correct answer.) Most of us have been brainwashed to believe that “I” is always correct. Not so. “I” and “me” follow the same rules as all other pronouns. Would you say, “Please give it to I”? Of course not.
Example: Between you and me, I think Sandy cheated.
Again, me is not the subject nor does it follow one of those state of being verbs. So we must use the Object Case. (For those of you with some grammar background, me is one of the objects of the preposition.)
Once you feel confident about pronoun usage, you will find the rest of grammar to be fairly easy, I promise.
Practice Quiz
Try this Pronoun Quiz and get explanations and your score instantly!
Word Play
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
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February 25th, 2007 at 11:54 am
Excerpt: (please comment)
I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between he and I.
Not to be overly picky but that’s two MAJOR errors in the space of four words James.
Personal pronouns like he and I are subjects of verbs and so must be followed by a verb.
Him and me on the other hand are the objects of verbs and should be used instead here as they clearly are objects of association.
He and I are going to town but it was a toss between him and me who would drive.
I am amazed at how many people mix personal pronouns like this, but must add that it has become a lot worse in the last 5 years thanks in no small measure to exceedingly badly written newspaper and website articles. Still, this is high school stuff and people our age should NOT be making these errors. We are better educated than that.
February 26th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
Jim, you’re correct that the sentence should read:
I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between him and me.
“Between” is a preposition so pronouns following it are objects of the preposition. “He” and “I” are subject pronouns while “him” and “me” are object pronouns.
Don’t be scared of using “me” in a sentence!
February 28th, 2007 at 4:34 am
I’m so glad to see the comment that the degradation of grammar is at least partly due to poorly written newspapers artciles and websites. I’m wondering how long to keep “fighting” this — especially the common failure to use the predicate nominative (”it was she”). I have a college age daughter whose English prof says that sometimes incorrect grammar becomes “correct” through usage. “The language changes, Mom,” I am told. But NOT the written word, I say!
February 28th, 2007 at 4:38 am
Barb, it’s true that usage does change the language or we’d all sound as though we’re reading Shakespeare. However, laziness isn’t a great excuse, is it?
March 30th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
“between you and I” has been in use since the 1600s.
March 30th, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Maybe so but “between you and I” is inconsistent with the rule as “I” is the object of the preposition here.
April 10th, 2007 at 7:31 am
Whether language changes through laziness or conscious choice is irrelevant. I’m sure we all stopped speaking like Shakespeare because it was just too much effort “laziness” improved the language in that sense. Rare are the times when language is consciously altered.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
It is interesting to hear the reasons for not speaking grammatically correct that people write in to different sites I’ve visited. I personally think it is because for decades now, it has not been taught fully in schools and thus not handed down through the generations. Poor grammar is rampant in the media and you even see it in the books with which we teach our children to read. When teachers and parents alike are not speaking proper language, it can be a losing battle. People get so used to speaking slang that it becomes the new language. You mentioned that we should keep it alive in formal language, but why not in informal speech as well? Or is it too late for that? I think that if we teach the proper forms, that perhaps we can arrest the dwindling spiral of proper speech to some degree. “At least the “Me and Joe are going…” and the “I can’t see very good” type slang. It may be too late for the It is I. It is he etc. as it’s been lost for several generations now, at least in every day language(from my observations).
April 13th, 2007 at 12:36 am
I’m always hesitant to correct people’s speaking habits, but I agree that if we all heard the language being spoken properly, we would be more likely to write it the same way.
November 20th, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Is there a rule for determining the order of objects, ie Jim sent the notice to me and Bob, or Jim sent the notice to Bob and me. I believe there is a rule on subects that person must be given preference, ie Bob and I versus I and Bob.
November 20th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Yes, the preferred order is to put the other person’s name first, then I/me.
July 27th, 2009 at 4:46 pm
there is a sentence which is bugging me
what should i use here
You know that as well as ME/I.
is there any rule for as well as
Thanks
July 27th, 2009 at 4:53 pm
The rule for choosing the case of your pronoun with “as well as” is actually simple. Just mentally complete the sentence: You know that as well as I know that OR You know that as well as I do.
Therefore, you would say or write, “You know that as well as I.”