Grammar Reflexive Pronouns |
The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation

Reflexive Pronouns

A reflexive pronoun is one that refers back to itself: myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves. It is used when the subject and the object of a sentence are the same. It can act as either an object or an indirect object.

Examples
Karl will give himself the day off from doing yardwork. (indirect object)
Marla always likes to prepare herself early for meetings. (object of infinitive phrase)

By comparison, consider the same sentences if we use object pronouns in place of reflexive pronouns:

Karl will give him the day off from doing yardwork.
Marla always likes to prepare her early for meetings.

In this pair of sentences, we can only deduce that Karl and Marla are performing an action on or for someone other than themselves. To specify that they are the recipients of the action, we need the reflexive pronouns himself and herself.

Let’s also compare how a reflexive pronoun differs from a pronoun that is not reflexive:

Marla said that the scarf is hers.

In this sentence, the personal pronoun hers, a possessive pronoun, does not identify itself as being the same as the subject of the independent clause, Marla. The antecedent of hers is the subject of the dependent clause, scarf.

Reflexive pronouns are also used to rename a noun to emphasize it:

Karl will finish the yardwork himself.
The Singhs themselves are taking care of the wedding arrangements. (or The Singhs are taking care of the wedding arrangements themselves.)

In these sentences, the reflexive pronoun (himself, themselves) does not serve to clearly identify that the subject and the object are the same; rather it emphasizes the noun preceding it by referring (reflexing back) to it. In this context, the reflexive pronoun functions as an intensifier (intensive pronoun). Readers can still understand each sentence without it.

Karl will finish the yardwork.
The Singhs are taking care of the wedding arrangements. 

Reflexive Pronoun: Object

You may sometimes hear reflexive pronouns used as objects differently in informal or colloquial speech. For example, someone might say something such as “Please give it to John or myself” or “Split the change between you and ourselves.”

Understanding these contexts are informal, we should still ask ourselves whether such use is grammatical. To determine this, we will keep in mind that reflexive pronouns should be used only when they refer back to another word in the sentence to either rename or intensify it.

In “Please give it to John or myself” and “Split the change between you and ourselves,” neither myself nor ourselves refers to or emphasizes a previous word. The words are both in the objective case, as both are objects of a prepositional phrase. The correct grammar would thus be “Please give it to John or me” and “Split the change between you and us.”

Reflexive Pronoun: Subject

Reflexive pronouns can be part of subject pronouns.

Example
I myself don’t believe one word of the story.
(Here the reflexive is an emphatic pronoun repeating the subject—it’s a non-punctuated appositive, which renames, restates, or explains the word or words it refers to.)

Reflexive pronouns should not replace the subject pronouns themselves.

Example
My brother and myself did it.
(Here, myself is not sufficient to stand alone as a subject pronoun; it can only repeat or rename a proper subject pronoun. A grammatically accurate revision would be either My brother and I did it or My brother and I myself did it.)

English includes several types of pronouns, such as personal, demonstrative, interrogative, relative, indefinite, possessive, and intensive pronouns. In this review, we’ve examined what reflexive pronouns are.

Pop Quiz

Select the correct sentence.

1A. Please call either Juanita or myself when you get this message.
1B. Please call either Juanita or me when you get this message.

2A. The chief of staff and myself want to thank you for your hard work.
2B. The chief of staff and I want to thank you for your hard work.

3A. Since we each have a job, we are able to support ourselves.
3B. Since we each have a job, we are able to support us.

 

Pop Quiz Answers

1A. Please call either Juanita or myself when you get this message.
1B. Please call either Juanita or me when you get this message. (Correct)

2A. The chief of staff and myself want to thank you for your hard work.
2B. The chief of staff and I want to thank you for your hard work. (Correct)

3A. Since we each have a job, we are able to support ourselves. (Correct)
3B. Since we each have a job, we are able to support us.

If the article or the existing discussions do not address a thought or question you have on the subject, please use the "Comment" box at the bottom of this page.

31 responses to “Reflexive Pronouns”

  1. Jude Smith says:

    Why are people putting themselves first in their sentences?

    For example, “Myself and Mary went to the movies”. Even people I expect to know rules of grammar do it. I was taught to place my link last in a sentence, ‘Mary and I went…’.

    It’s as though they know that ‘Me and Mary…’ is unacceptable, but ‘Myself and Mary…’ is OK. Am I just being picky?

    • We do not believe you are being picky. You are just more conscious of proper grammar than some people. There is no formal rule regarding putting I or me last when referring to yourself and others. It is a matter of courtesy. “Mary and I went to the movies” is correct rather than “Myself and Mary” or “Me and Mary” because Mary and I are the subjects of the sentence. The subject form of the pronoun is I. Myself is used only when it refers back to another word in the sentence.

      • Cherelyn Vasquez says:

        Cheaters should be ashamed of _____.
        a. himself b. him
        c. themselves d. them
        What is its grammatical rule about this item?

        • GrammarBook.com says:

          As the first rule on this page states, a reflexive pronoun refers back to another word in the sentence. The reflexive pronoun themselves refers back to the noun cheaters.

  2. Kelly F says:

    Thank you for bringing this issue up. It has become my biggest pet peeve. I believe it is done because it “sounds” more sophisticated, like someone always using ‘I’ when ‘me’ is the correct word. Instead of correcting people, I will just start saying, “Wow, you just used a reflexive pronoun incorrectly!”

  3. Rich K. says:

    In the following paragraph there is a grammatical mistake in the three-word phrase “they refer back,” which
    is redundant. “Re” means to “go back,” and, hence, the grammatically correct usage should simply
    be “they refer to another …” Basically, to say “refer back” means to “go back back,” which is incorrect.

    • Our copy of The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language has a Usage Note specifically dealing with the belief that “refer back” is redundant. In short, the Usage Note explains that the “objection is misplaced. In fact, an expression can refer either to something that has already been mentioned or to something that is yet to be mentioned …”

  4. William G. says:

    I remember a song by Gerard Joling from 1985 that says:
    Gotta buy me a ticket to the tropics…
    Why is not “Gotta buy myself a ticket to the tropics…”, or simply “Gotta buy a ticket to the tropics…”

    More examples I have found while researching:
    As I lay me down to sleep
    Bring me my book (bring my book?)
    I’ll show you your room (I’ll show your room?)
    Sew me my shirt (sew my shirt?)
    My feet don’t ache me (my feet don’t ache?)

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      Sometimes song lyrics are in a world of their own as the musicians take liberties to please their ear (see our article Pop Tunes and Grammar).

      Regarding your other examples:

      As I lay me down to sleep — In a reflexive context, the more technically accurate clause would be: As I lay myself down to sleep. However, it’s still within reason to observe “me” as a direct object. What is being laid down? Me, the object. Either usage is acceptable, and most people would likely agree using the direct object sounds better.

      Bring me my book (bring my book?) — Bring me (indirect object) my book (direct object). This construction is grammatically sound, and including the direct object potentially ensures clarity. Otherwise, to whom is the person bringing the book? Alternatively, we could write Bring my book to me.

      I’ll show you your room (I’ll show your room?) — Here again the indirect object adds to clarity. Otherwise, might the speaker be telling me of his or her intention to show my room to somebody else? Alternatives might be I’ll show your room to you (which sounds a bit clunky) OR I’ll show you to your room, depending on the context.

      Sew me my shirt (sew my shirt?) — This one is perhaps the clunkiest of the bunch. Its meaning is understood colloquially, but it has a bit of a slang sound. Really what the speaker is saying is Sew for me my shirt. “Me” is the object of the preposition, which is omitted. A revision that sounds better to us is Sew my shirt for me.

      My feet don’t ache me (my feet don’t ache?) — The meaning here is almost fully reflexive, but My feet don’t ache myself sounds very odd. Your suggested revision is better.

  5. Minhaj says:

    Please choose & tell me what are the correct sentences in these?
    1.She admitted herself that it was wrong.
    2.She herself admitted that it was wrong.
    3.She admitted that it was wrong herself.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      In your examples, the reflexive pronoun “herself” is an emphatic pronoun repeating the subject—it’s essentially a non-punctuated appositive, which renames, restates, or explains the word or words it refers to. We prefer your second sentence as it best serves its emphatic purpose and avoids any misunderstanding by being placed adjacent to the subject pronoun “She.”

  6. Malarvilie says:

    Is it possible to have a reflexive pronoun as both subject and object?

  7. Jerry says:

    I recall from elementary school (yes nuns!) that reflexive pronouns are only used when the doer and receiver of the action is the same person(s). I often hear reflexive pronouns used for emphasis- “I’m not sure, ask Paul himself.” What’s the deal with that? Thanks

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      Your sentence is an example of the reflexive as an emphatic (or intensive) pronoun as discussed in the third Correct example in the article above.

  8. Shalya says:

    Can reflexive pronouns be used after the verbs “wash, bathe, dress, shave”?

  9. Mouhamad.bahman says:

    I need to know the author of this post because I am doing a research paper and must give the author’s name.

  10. Gloria K says:

    Reflective pronouns are sloppy use of English grammar. I.e. Bill himself….sounds stupid or I myself.. is same person so why repeat??? I’m so fed up with hearing and reading these unnecessary words. Who changed the English grammar as it has become ridiculous. These extra words are not necessary to get the statement across.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      Improperly used, reflexive pronouns (the correct term) can be as unnecessary to a sentence as extra question marks. However, as we indicate, a writer may desire to use them for extra emphasis, which is conveyed in a sentence such as I’ll do it myself rather than simply I’ll do it.

      • Paul says:

        This is such a wonderful response! I do enjoy reading what grammarbook.com has to say, down here in the bottom half of the internet. It so often speaks to my instinctively pedantic nature and my unceasing desire to learn more of the hallowed subject of English grammar. And then, there are the gems such as this beautifully crafted response. This just simply brings pure joy, and will leave me smiling for the rest of the evening ahead. And I do not intend to concern myself with the unnecessary words that litter my own humble offering. To me, they add colour, emphasis and so much more… However, I do offer my sincerest apologies to those whose time has been wasted by their inclusion.

        Thanks, GrammarBook! Keep up the great work!

  11. Stephanie Ochoa says:

    When we say, “She was not feeling well, and she was just not herself,” is “herself” a reflexive pronoun in this case? Is it a predicate nominative? And if so, wouldn’t it require the subjective case? Or is this just colloquial usage? Thanks!

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      “Not herself” is an example of how idioms can sometimes override grammatical accuracy. Herself is a reflexive prounoun that serves as a predicate nominative in your example sentence.

  12. Ripal Mehta says:

    Is this sentence correct: Did you get yourself tested?
    Please explain.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      Yes, the sentence is correct because the pronoun reflects the action of the sentence and refers back to the sentence subject, thus making the pronoun reflexive.

  13. Lisa says:

    I continue to come across dependent -ing clauses that make me question whether they should use a reflexive pronoun. I cannot find the answer anywhere. Here is an example that, to me, sounds as if it needs a reflexive pronoun.

    He laughs, closing the door behind him/himself.

    If I put the clause in the front, it sounds even more as if the sentence needs the reflexive pronoun.

    Closing the door behind himself, he laughs.

    If the above example does need a reflexive pronoun, if there an example of a time a dependent -ing clause would not get a reflexive pronoun?

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      From our perspective, whether to use a reflexive pronoun might well be determined by the clarity that is needed. In other words, if it is clear that “he” is the only person being referred to in the context, the sentence could potentially be written as “Closing the door behind him, he laughs.”

      If however the scene or context includes more than one possible antecedent for “he” (e.g., there are two men near each other), the reflexive pronoun may be needed to specify which of the two is closing the door.

  14. Jiyeon says:

    I have two questions about this sentence:
    Despite being able to talk, infants fail to realize that other people may perceive and know different things from themselves.
    1. Is “from themselves” correct for the clarity?
    2. Should the word ‘themselves” be the word “them”?
    Thank you in advance.

    • GrammarBook.com says:

      We recommend omitting “from themselves” and editing as follows:
      Despite being able to talk, infants fail to realize that other people may perceive and know different things.

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