I vs. Me
You don’t need to learn how to diagram a sentence to be able to learn the rules of grammar and punctuation. Let me help you use pronouns correctly without any unnecessary jargon.
First, let’s define a pronoun: a pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. We can divide pronouns into three categories:
Subject Pronouns
I, you, he, she, it, we, theyObject Pronouns
me, you, him, her, it, us, themPossessive Pronouns
mine, yours, his, hers, its, ours, theirs
The following rule not only makes sense but is simple.
Rule: Use one of the Subject Pronouns when it is the subject of the sentence.
Example: I hit the ball.
Who hit the ball? I did. So “I” is the subject.
Usually, these subject pronouns sound right to most of us.
Example: He and I will meet at the gym.
Who will meet at the gym? He will meet at the gym. I will meet at the gym. So “he” and “I” are both the subjects.
Sometimes we want to say, “Him and me will . . .” or “Him and I will . . . .” You can remember the correct pronouns by saying each pronoun alone in the sentence. It probably won’t sound right to you to say, “Him will . . .” or “Me will . . . .”
Now, this next rule is difficult because it doesn’t sound right to most of us.
Rule: Use a Subject Pronoun following state of being verbs such as am, are, is, was, were.
Example: It is she.
Example: It was we who won the election.
Because we don’t speak this way, we can’t use our ear to help us with this rule. This is a good time to discuss the difference between spoken language and written language, particularly when it comes to tests and formal papers. We speak informally but must write more formally. Frankly, if I knock on someone’s door and am asked, “Who is it?” I am not going to say, “It is I” for fear that the person on the other side of the door will think I’m weird and never open up. However, if I am taking an exam or writing a report, I will try to spot these state of being verbs and check my pronoun usage.
The next rule does sound right to most of us.
Rule: Use one of the Object Pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state of being verb.
Example: Nancy gave the gift to her.
Example: Please give it to him or me.
(Remember, leave out one of the pronouns and you will be able to hear the correct answer.) Most of us have been brainwashed to believe that “I” is always correct. Not so. “I” and “me” follow the same rules as all other pronouns. Would you say, “Please give it to I”? Of course not.
Example: Between you and me, I think Sandy cheated.
Again, me is not the subject nor does it follow one of those state of being verbs. So we must use the Object Case. (For those of you with some grammar background, me is one of the objects of the preposition.)
Once you feel confident about pronoun usage, you will find the rest of grammar to be fairly easy, I promise.
Pop Quiz
Select the correct sentence.
1A. Arlene asked he and I to complete the job.
1B. Arlene asked he and me to complete the job.
1C. Arlene asked him and I to complete the job.
1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.
2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.
2B. He and me completed the job for Arlene.
2C. Him and I completed the job for Arlene.
2D. Him and me completed the job for Arlene.
Answers to Pop Quiz
1D. Arlene asked him and me to complete the job.
2A. He and I completed the job for Arlene.
Posted on Saturday, April 1st, 2006, at 10:09 pm
95 Responses to “I vs. Me”
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Excerpt: (please comment)
I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between he and I.
Not to be overly picky but that’s two MAJOR errors in the space of four words James.
Personal pronouns like he and I are subjects of verbs and so must be followed by a verb.
Him and me on the other hand are the objects of verbs and should be used instead here as they clearly are objects of association.
He and I are going to town but it was a toss between him and me who would drive.
I am amazed at how many people mix personal pronouns like this, but must add that it has become a lot worse in the last 5 years thanks in no small measure to exceedingly badly written newspaper and website articles. Still, this is high school stuff and people our age should NOT be making these errors. We are better educated than that.
Jim, you’re correct that the sentence should read:
I am sure Mr. Neal would be flattered by your association between him and me.
“Between” is a preposition so pronouns following it are objects of the preposition. “He” and “I” are subject pronouns while “him” and “me” are object pronouns.
Don’t be scared of using “me” in a sentence!
I’m so glad to see the comment that the degradation of grammar is at least partly due to poorly written newspapers artciles and websites. I’m wondering how long to keep “fighting” this — especially the common failure to use the predicate nominative (“it was she”). I have a college age daughter whose English prof says that sometimes incorrect grammar becomes “correct” through usage. “The language changes, Mom,” I am told. But NOT the written word, I say!
Barb, it’s true that usage does change the language or we’d all sound as though we’re reading Shakespeare. However, laziness isn’t a great excuse, is it?
Maybe so but “between you and I” is inconsistent with the rule as “I” is the object of the preposition here.
“between you and I” has been in use since the 1600s.
Whether language changes through laziness or conscious choice is irrelevant. I’m sure we all stopped speaking like Shakespeare because it was just too much effort “laziness” improved the language in that sense. Rare are the times when language is consciously altered.
I’m always hesitant to correct people’s speaking habits, but I agree that if we all heard the language being spoken properly, we would be more likely to write it the same way.
It is interesting to hear the reasons for not speaking grammatically correct that people write in to different sites I’ve visited. I personally think it is because for decades now, it has not been taught fully in schools and thus not handed down through the generations. Poor grammar is rampant in the media and you even see it in the books with which we teach our children to read. When teachers and parents alike are not speaking proper language, it can be a losing battle. People get so used to speaking slang that it becomes the new language. You mentioned that we should keep it alive in formal language, but why not in informal speech as well? Or is it too late for that? I think that if we teach the proper forms, that perhaps we can arrest the dwindling spiral of proper speech to some degree. “At least the “Me and Joe are going…” and the “I can’t see very good” type slang. It may be too late for the It is I. It is he etc. as it’s been lost for several generations now, at least in every day language(from my observations).
Is there a rule for determining the order of objects, ie Jim sent the notice to me and Bob, or Jim sent the notice to Bob and me. I believe there is a rule on subects that person must be given preference, ie Bob and I versus I and Bob.
Yes, the preferred order is to put the other person’s name first, then I/me.
there is a sentence which is bugging me
what should i use here
You know that as well as ME/I.
is there any rule for as well as
Thanks
The rule for choosing the case of your pronoun with “as well as” is actually simple. Just mentally complete the sentence: You know that as well as I know that OR You know that as well as I do.
Therefore, you would say or write, “You know that as well as I.”
My family and I are
My family and I am
which do it be?
“My family and I are…”
Use the plural verb because “and” makes the subject plural.
Hi Jane,
I’ve been reading a book and this sentence just troubled me so much,
“No one was more amazed than she.”
Is “she” correct? Because I think “her” would sound more familiar.
Thanks,
Yes, the sentence should read, “No one was more amazed than she.” If you mentally complete the sentence, you would say, “No one was more amazed than she was.”
Some people who post pictures online write “John Doe and I” as the caption as if to say, “John Doe and I are in this picture,” or “This is John Doe and I.” I would prefer to write “John Doe and me” as if to say, “This is a picture of John Doe and me”? Would it be more correct to use the former with the idea that a person looking at the picture would be more likely to ask, “Who is this?” rather than, “Who is this a picture of?”
Both ways are correct for the reasons you state. Good job!
Is this sentence correct:
It was in the same room as me.
Should that me be changed to I?
Change “me” to “I” because you are really saying, “It was in the same room as I was.” With “as” and “than,” mentally complete the sentence.
Please punctuate the following: between July 1 2010 and August 30 2010 the heat index will soar
Many thanks for settling an argument at work.
Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, the heat index will soar.
In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates ~ “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?
With dates, use commas. See Rule 5a, http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/commas.asp
In reference to the time frame in the previous question, why is there a comma between the dates “Between July 1, 2010, and August 30, 2010, …” ? One doesn’t place a comma in the phrase “between you and me.” Are these phrases not similar?
As I stated below, with dates we use commas. It’s a style preference.
The money came from him and me.
The money came from he and I.
The money came from Taryn and me/I.
Which is correct?
The money came from him. The money came from me. Therefore, the money came from him and me.
You have no idea how much this is going to help me.
Great! Thank you for letting me know.
Is it proper to say “graduated high school”? I thought that one graduates FROM high school.
I have looked this up in “The Chicago Manual of Style” and the “AP Style Manual” and can’t find an answer. The more common phrasing is “graduates from high school,” but I believe that it is also correct to leave out “from.”
Are “am,” “are,” “is,” “was,” and “were” the only “state of being” verbs, or are there others?
There are other state of being verbs in other tenses, including, for example, “has/had/have/will have been” and “will be.”
He followed the boys and I. Or he followed the boys and me. ??????
The answer is “me.” You would say, “He followed me,” not “He followed I.”
Is it “there is no point in he and I to talk” or “there is no point in him and me to talk”? Also, is it “there is no point in me reviewing the documents” or “there is no point in my reviewing the documents”?
Use object pronouns rather than subject pronouns. “There is no point in him and me talking.” (Just as you would say “There is no point in us talking” rather than “There is no point in we talking.”)
In the second example, you would use “me” rather than “my,” since “my” is a possessive pronoun.
Caption for under a picture. Which one is correct?
My mommy and I?
or
My mommy and me?
My mommy and me. (You would not say that it is a picture of I.)
I have to disagree with one of your examples in the comma section (referenced in your reply on September 27, 2010, at 8:54 am in this thread):
“Use a comma when an -ly adjective is used with other adjectives.
NOTE: To test whether an -ly word is an adjective, see if it can be used alone with the noun. If it can, use the comma.
Examples: Felix was a lonely, young boy.” (2nd example omitted)
It doesn’t look right. Nor does it sound right if spoken:
“Felix was a lonely [pause] young boy.”
What about this?
“Felix was an ugly, young boy.” You wouldn’t (shouldn’t) put a comma there.
Your “-ly” rule seems somewhat ad hoc, rather than based on “fundamental” rules of grammar. Does this rule exist in any previous authoritative source? I will stand corrected if so, while maintaining my disagreement.
Perhaps a “series of three or more” rule might be appropriate:
“Felix was an ugly, lonely, young boy.” Although I’m not positive about that.
Comment?
This rule does exist in another authoritative source. According to The Chicago Manual of Style, Section 6.33, Commas with coordinate adjectives, “As a general rule, when a noun is preceded by two or more adjectives that could, without affecting the meaning, be joined by and, the adjectives are normally separated by commas. Such adjectives, which are called coordinate adjectives, can also usually be reversed in order and still make sense.” In your example, “Felix was a lonely, young boy” makes the same sense as “Felix was a young, lonely boy.” Regarding the pause in the sentence, not every comma implies a long pause. A slight pause between the two adjectives sounds natural, in my opinion.
Thanks Jane, This is definitely going to help. I have to take my GMAT soon. Can you suggest some good references for overall improvement in grammar for competitive exams like GMAT/GRE ?
You will find plenty of good resources on the “Helpful Links” page of the Grammarbook website. Good luck!
http://www.grammarbook.com/links.asp
Interesting. I was taught, “there is no point in our talking” (actually, “speaking”) rather than “in us talking”. However, I was raised by a British English speaker. So, is this way incorrect or simply a difference in the two versions of English? Do you know?
I don’t know for sure. In both my book and website, I am emphasizing proper American English usage.
With reference to the query from Jen, 25th March 2011, whether the phrase “there is no point in our speaking” is correct, or whether it should read “there is no point in us speaking”, please permit me to point out that both constructions are correct. In the former, speaking following ‘our’ is a gerund, whereas in the latter speaking after ‘us’ is the present participle.
Thank you for your comment.
And, ooops! I put my period outside my quotation mark! I just can’t get my fingers to learn to do it this way!
Nobody is perfect!
In the sentence “She was behaving like him,” should the last pronoun, him, be changed to the subjective case (he), or remain in the objective case?
You could argue that ‘like’ is functioning as a preposition in this sentence, and so, because the pronoun is the object of that preposition, it should be in the objective case: he. However, you could also argue the opposite by reasoning that the more verbose version of the sentence would read: “Ann was behaving like he behaves,” in which case, the subjective case would be more suitable.
According to Rule 5 in the “Problems with Prepositions” section of Grammarbook.com, “The word like may be used as a preposition and in informal writing, as a conjunction. In formal writing, use as, as if, or as though rather than like as the conjunction.”
Depending on whether the writing was informal or formal, you could either write “She was behaving like him,” or “Ann was behaving as he behaves.” The other sentence, “Ann was behaving like he behaves” would only be acceptable in informal writing.
There’s an error in my previous comment; the last word of the first sentence in the second paragraph, after the colon, should be “him,” not “he.”
Also, I’m now realizing how clunky the contrived sentence “Ann was behaving like he behaves” is, so I’m leaning towards the objective case being correct.
Yes, you are correct.
It was I you saw.
It was me you saw.
It was I who you saw.
It was me whom you saw.
Which is/are correct?
Alan, this one is extremely tricky! The sentence should be, “It was I whom you saw.” We use the subject pronoun I because it follows the state of being verb was (as discussed in an earlier blog, “Pronoun Tips”). However, use the objective form whom, because it answers the question, “You saw whom?” (Who vs. Whom Rule). Also, there is nothing wrong with the simpler, “It was I you saw.”
How would you say:
Rachel’s and my party
or Rachel and my party
or Me and Rachel’s party
or Mine and Rachel’s party
or what?
The correct wording would be “Rachel’s and my party.”
I am questioning my own sense of grmmatical usage when it comes to the usage of “me.” So many references on TV now seem to put the pronoun “me” before the other pronoun or noun. For example:
“Me and Sue are going to the game.” This form of usage has really caught on with young people. Why is this usage acceptable or is it?
The reference seem impolite and grammatically incorrect. Is it?
In your example, the correct usage is, “Sue and I are going to the game.” “Me and Sue are going to the game” does seem impolite and most certainly is grammatically incorrect.
I was cured of “me and” at an early age when talking to my dad one day. I started saying something about “me and Donna” (my sister) and he interrupted me. “Mean Donna?”
So now whenever I hear someone say “me and” I get a flashback to “mean.”
What a great way to remember a grammar rule!
I’m trying to help a friend who has written a book. It’s very poorly written, with multiple grammar and punctuation errors. The thing driving me nuts is her habit of changing pronouns within a paragraph — sometimes in the same sentence! (Ex: “When the Holy Spirit tells US to move, YOU move.”) What is the rule for this? She flings around, “we”, “you”, “I”, “me”, “us”, etc. until I have no idea what she’s saying.
The Chicago Manual of Style, rule 5.40 says, “A personal pronoun agrees with the noun for which it stands in both gender and number {John writes, and he will soon write well} {Sheila was there, but she couldn’t hear what was said}.”
Pronoun consistency in a sentence is important to the reader’s comprehension of the written piece. Quite often the word “you” gets overused and causes the kind of reader distraction you describe. From your description, unless your friend is willing to take classes and is open to regular feedback from a teacher on grammar, punctuation, and effective writing, he or she will need a good editor and proofreader.
I’m still confused about what to write as a title under a photo (and the “why” behind it).
Meli and I at the restaurant.
Meli and me at the restaurant.
When you are placing a title under a photo, your most likely meaning is “This is a picture of Meli and me at the restaurant.” Therefore, your shorthand way of writing it would be “Meli and me at the restaurant.” You are using the objective case “me” because it is the object of the preposition “of.” In the unlikely event that you intend your caption to mean “Meli and I are at the restaurant,” then you would use the subjective case “Meli and I at the restaurant.” In this case, you might as well add the word “are” to your caption.
Why, oh why ,do we have to put the quotation marks outside the punctuation points unless the punctuation is actually included in the quotation? It makes absolutely no logical sense to me!!
The fact that “Periods and commas always go inside quotation marks” has simply become a rule that is easy for people to follow and does not always follow logic. With other punctuation marks, question marks for instance, their placement does follow logic. This is the English language–not always logical!
which is correct??
The Executive team and I look forward to serving you lunch.
or
I and my Executive team look forward to serving you lunch.
Since it is grammatical courtesy for the writer to place his or her name last, “The Executive team and I look forward to serving you lunch,” is recommended.
Is this correct, “I wish I could be somewhere where all of my loved ones and I were in one place.”? Thanks a lot!
While the sentence is grammatically correct, it sounds awkward because the language used is rather vague. Rule 1 in our “Effective Writing” section of GrammarBook.com says, “Use concrete rather than vague language.” I recommend “I wish my loved ones and I could all be together in one place.”
How do I express mutual possesion by a person and myself. For example, is “Hers and my car” correct? I know I can easily say “Our car…” but I would like to know the longer phrasing.
We indirectly address this situation in Rule 8 of Apostrophes, “Use the apostrophe and s after the second name only if two people possess the same item.” However, The Chicago Manual of Style addresses this issue directly by stating, “Closely linked nouns are considered a single unit in forming the possessive when the thing being “possessed” is the same for both; only the second element takes the possessive form.” Therefore, the correct phrasing would be “Her and my car.”
Another grammar trend I’ve noticed is the use of “myself” in place of I or me. It hurts my ears to hear the language butchered like this. For instance, I heard on the radio; “For more information, call myself, Joe Smith at…”. Or you hear a lot of people say “John and myself did this or that”. The proper word to use in those examples is clear when you apply the usage rules above. When is myself the proper word choice?
Don
You are correct. Rule 7 in the “Pronouns” section of our website says, “Reflexive pronouns - myself, himself, herself, itself, themselves, ourselves, yourself, yourselves- should be used only when they refer back to another word in the sentence.
Correct:
I worked myself to the bone.
Incorrect:
My brother and myself did it.
The word myself does not refer back to another word.
Correct:
My brother and I did it.
Incorrect:
Please give it to John or myself.
Correct:
Please give it to John or me.
can you please help me with this..
Are jones miles and cheska blame an official couple?
i think it sounds very weird.i would rather ask this way…
Are THEY an official couple?
but i still want to know if my grammar is correct.
or should i just say…
Is Jones Miles in a relationship with Cheska Blame?
I agree that saying, “Are Jones Miles and Cheska Blame an official couple?” does sound awkward. I prefer “Are Jones Miles and Cheska Blame in a relationship?’ or “Is Jones Miles in a relationship with Cheska Blame?”
Hi I am curious why in my English book the following sentence is correct.
Him and me have been seeing more and more of each other.
I thought it would be he and I.
Thanks!
Are you sure your English book is not using this sentence as an incorrect example? If not, it seems that you found an error in your English book. Him and me are not subject pronouns and you are correct that the sentence should read “He and I have been seeing more of each other.”
GrammarBook.com is the greatest and most useful website.
“dude stop creeping on steffi’s and my conversation.”. please correct me if i am wrong
.thanks!
Our Rule 4 of Commas states, “Use commas before or surrounding the name or title of a person directly addressed.” Therefore, use a comma after the word Dude. Also, Rule 8 of Apostrophes says, “Use the apostrophe and s after the second name [or use a possessive pronoun] only if two people possess the same item.” Therefore, write “Steffi and my conversation” or “our conversation.” A capital letter is required for proper names. Of course, the word dude and the word creeping when used as a verb not meaning “to move or proceed very slowly” are both considered informal English or slang and should be avoided in formal writing.
Dude, stop creeping on Steffi and my conversation. OR Dude, stop creeping on our conversation. (Informal English)
Sir (or the person’s name), please stop listening in on our conversation. (Formal English)
I have a colleague who writes “Am” instead of “I’m” – is tha correct? For example she will reply in email correspondence by saying “Am working on an answer to…” – is that correct?
It is not grammatically correct to leave out the word I before the word am. It appears that some people are allowing a few of the abbreviated forms they use in text messages to carry over to their emails.
Is it possible to address the matter – They vs Them.
Consider the sentence: The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than ___. (they OR them).
Mentally complete the sentence. “The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than they are.” Therefore, your sentence should be:
The man boasted to his friends that he was a better singer than they.
When mentally completing a sentence to determine which pronoun is correct, is it acceptable to mentally insert words before the final pronoun? For example,
“This helps you as much as I/me.”
It could be…..
This helps you as much as (it helps) me. (Note that here I am mentally inserting the words it helps before the pronoun me.)
OR
This helps you as much as I (help you). (Here I am literally mentally completing the sentence without inserting any words.)
Are both I and me correct depending upon context, or is only I correct because I had to insert words before me to make that sentence make sense?
Mentally completing the sentence will sometimes mean inserting words and sometimes adding words depending on the sentence. Your example, “This helps you as much as I/me,” would be understood by almost everyone to mean “This helps you as much as it helps I/me.” By inserting the words it helps, you’ve made it easier to select the correct pronoun me. The sentence “This helps you as much as I” may be a grammatically correct shortening of “This helps you as much as I help you,” but it is an extremely awkward sentence and is likely to lead to confusion.
In our Rule 5 of Pronouns, we give examples of completing sentences by adding words, such as Tranh is as smart as she/her. If we mentally complete the sentence, we would say, “Tranh is as smart as she is.” Therefore, she is the correct answer.
I am writing an autobiography.
In one paragraph, I am talking about my mother.
How many times is it okay to say her first name in the same paragraph. Also, for the words, her, she etc.
There is no specific grammar rule covering repetition of words in a paragraph. How does it sound to your own ear when you read it silently and out loud? If it doesn’t sound right, rewrite. There are many helpful websites with tips for writers. You might search on “how to avoid excessive repetition of names and pronouns” or something of that sort.
Can you please tell me which sentence is correct?
Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and me this morning.
Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and I this morning.
The rule in our I vs. Me blog says, “Use one of the object pronouns when the pronoun is not a subject and it doesn’t follow a state of being verb.” The object pronoun is me.
Thank you for taking the time to speak with Joann and me this morning.